


Relief

by Taekook339



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angry Lance (Voltron), Bottom Keith (Voltron), Depressed Keith (Voltron), Depressing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Smut, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Orphan Keith (Voltron), Regret, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 17:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14430600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taekook339/pseuds/Taekook339
Summary: Keith and Lance are arguing about something stupid in the common room again, but what happens when Lance says something he regrets? Will he be able to fix the damage he's made?Just a short and depressing oneshot I decided to make really quick. Please be aware that I do touch on serious feelings of wanting to self-harm, and that it can trigger the same reaction if you relate to it. If you suffer from self-harm, please be careful reading this.





	Relief

"We should just go in there and fight! Why waste time trying to come up with so many stupid plans, when we can clearly take such a weak ship down without them!?" Keith yelled as his face turned slightly red from annoyance.

"My plan's are not stupid! Last time you rushed into a fight you nearly got us all killed! If Lotor wasn't so stuck on just toying with us that time we'd be captured or dead because of you!" Lance yelled back just as annoyed.

The other paladins watched on in frustration as their two teammates argued once again. Pidge ready to chuck a computer at them, Shiro ready to strangle one of them with his prosthetic arm, and Hunk ready to fall asleep standing up from all the stress.

"I get it ok! I wasn't supposed to be the leader Lance! I never WANTED to be the leader! I was scared and worried too you know! I told you all that I was sorry afterwards, and that it was my first time leading Voltron! I pushed you all too far, and I'm fucking sorry! It's been like two months since then, can you please just accept it already!?"

"No I can't accept it!"

"Why do you have to be such a brat!?"

"Why do you have to be such an emo asshole, Keith!?"

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"It's not my fault that you hate me Lance! I tried being nice! I tried! You just won't fucking accept that! Everyone around you gets treated like a friend, but I just get treated like shit! I get that you hate me, but can you just pretend you don't for five fucking minutes!?"

"Maybe I could if you weren't the fucking enemy, Keith! You think you're so perfect and right about everything, but you're nothing but the enemy's parentless fuck up that no one likes or wants!" Lance shouted with all of his might. The second the words came out of his mouth, his body froze with guilt.

Keith stared at Lance with wide tear filled eyes, and an open mouth. His whole face turning a splotchy red, and his mouth closing with an audible click.

Keith went to say something, but the only sound that came out was a pitiful, choking sound. His eyes snapped to the right to see his friends staring at him with a mixture of shock, disappointment, and anger.

As his eyes flit back to Keith he sees him barely holding back tears, as one escapes his right eye and his lip wobbles. Lance goes to open his mouth to apologize, but it snaps shut again after seeing Keith go to do the same.

Before Keith could say anything, a whimper rips itself out of his throat. He turns around and runs away to, what seems like, his room's direction.

"Keith wai-!" Lance shouts after him, a bit too late. He spares another glance at the other paladins to see Shiro glaring at him, and the other two looking even more disappointed in him than before.

"If I were you, lance, I'd either go apologize to him right now, or pack your bags and jump out of an airlock" Shiro tells him, his voice as cold as metal on a winter day.

"I-uh-yah I'll um... I'll go do that... The first one... I'll do the first one." Lance stutters out before turning to start his search for Keith.

 

Keith's POV

"Maybe I could if you weren't the fucking enemy, Keith! You think you're so perfect and right about everything, but you're nothing but the enemy's parentless fuck up that no one likes or wants!"

His words made my whole body turn ice cold. My blood freezing over, and the oxygen leaving my mouth in the form of steam. I could feel my chest getting stabbed with each and every word he spoke. The knife digging into the center of my chest, and prying my rib cage open. Twisting and turning until it pokes my heart, and then plunging into what it was looking for.

My chest squeezes and spasms in pain as I fight down the tears threatening to spill. His words hurt me more than any Galra ever could. Each one another stab or twist in my heart, until I feel as though I can barely stand, let alone live.

The world around me is static when he says the last word. I can hear someone in the distance talking, but it's muffled, like I'm drowning underwater. I almost wish I was.

When I go to turn around and start running, I hear someone shout something, but I can't make it out. My vision starts to blur as the tears finally fall, and I barely make it into my room.

My legs give out the second I enter my bathroom, and I have to cling to the countertop to stay standing. My whole body feels exhausted. Like the very life inside of it has been drained out until there isn't a drop left.

I glance to the razor beside my sink, and the thoughts rush to my mind in a frenzy.

"Do it, do it, do it. Do it. Do it. DO it. DO IT. DO IT!" It screams at me over and over again, getting louder and louder.

I feel my left thigh getting itchy and irritated, as it begs me to cut it. I know that the only way to satisfy that itch, is to use the razor again. To cut instead of scratch. The uncomfortable and itchy feelings grow more and more, as if it's pleading with me. Begging to be dealt with. Begging to be cut. I yank my pants down with a newfound energy, and sit on the toilet beside my sink. I drag my fingers across the uneven skin there.

I hesitate. It's been about 6 months of being clean, and I'm afraid that once I break that streak I'll never be able to stop. I grab the razor again and start to break it apart. It comes apart in seconds, and I briefly remember how hard it was the first time I did it.

Just as I pull a single blade out and touch my thigh with it, the door to the bathroom bursts open. Lance comes frantically barging in to the room, and his eyes snap to mine. It takes him about 2 minutes to break eye contact, and realize what I was about to do as I stay frozen in fear.

His fists tighten as his eyes start to water, and he marches the short distance towards me. When he's within reach, he rips the razors away from me, and carefully takes the blade from me as well. The second they're both at a safe enough distance from me, he turns around and practically flings me into his arms.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so so sorry I didn't mean it Keith I didn't mean it I'm sorry..." he continues to repeat as he cries into my shoulder. It took me a few minutes to realize that I was sobbing into his as well.

When he finally pulls away, he keeps his hands on my shoulders and looks at me. I can tell he's afraid of doing something wrong. Finally he opens his mouth to say something.

"I didn't mean it Keith. I'm so, so, so sorry. I have never thought of you that way, and I didn't mean to say any of it." He says as his face fills with regret and guilt.

"You're right though... No one cares. No one ever has, and no one ever will. Especially not now." I whisper as the tears start up again.

"That's not true Keith! I promise it's not true!" Lance shouts the second I utter the last word.

"How would you know!? You said it yourself!" I shouted at him as rage and depression took control of me. I shoved his hands off of my shoulders, but he put them right back.

"I care, Keith! Fuck, I care so much that it hurts! I care more than I should sometimes! When we're in the middle of battle I worry about you every second of the way, and I want nothing more then to protect you and keep you safe! When we're eating a meal that you skip to train during instead, I worry how you're doing and if you're okay! When you stay locked in your room while the rest of us are having fun, I want nothing more then to drag you out of there, and make you have fun and smile as well! I want you to be happy Keith! I want to see your cute smile as you truly enjoy things, instead of the frown that takes over your face. I care... I care so much" Lance shouts at me as he slowly quiets down to just above a whisper.

He starts to lean towards me as his eyes flicker to my lips for a split second. I catch it, and in turn my face turns a bright red as I lean forward a bit as well. I can feel his right hand slowly slide from my shoulder to my nape, as his fingers brush the bottom strands of my hair. I feel my breath stutter as he looks at me to ask permission. I give him a tiny nod.

Our lips meet as he pulls my face the extra distance between us. It's not magical like everyone says. There's nothing magical about the salty, tear filled kiss we shared. It was just filled with relief. Relief that he was forgiven, relief that our feelings were mutual, relief that he cares, relief that I'm not alone, relief that there was no rejection. Relief.

All of my problems won't be fixed right now, and we will still have fights and get hurt. However, I know now that I'm not alone. I may doubt it again once in a while, but Lance will be there to tell me otherwise. I've finally found someone that will stay, and now all I feel is relief.


End file.
